Tuesday, June 20
i feel awful. so so so awful. it's 0047 now, and i can't get to slp no matter what. & i even cried over some stupid, idiotic.. thing. fook.
and that's not my only problem. i've eaten NOTHING today except bread at 1045AM today. i didn't have lunch, snacks, nor dinner. not even when a whole table of food was in front of me during SLC. and i don't even feel hungry. i tried eating a teenie bit, but i feel like puking afterward. wth. maybe it's psychological. hurr.
anw, went back to SLC today to crash. we were kinda bored there, boy. but it was nice to be able to 'reunite' with danfong, novabelle & shawn lah. we had a bit of fun. & that brings me some comfort. (:
i still have to pretend there's nth wrong in front of my parents. or not they'll start to worry, & ask questions, & then i'll lose my temper, then they'll lose their temper, then things'll get even worse than it already is. i wouldn't want that to happen. ever.
there can never be a time where i can be super super happy for a long time. just last weekend, i was so excited & jubilant about my Confirmation. & then today.. it's like, the 'yippi-ness' never existed.
maybe i'm just reading the wrong signs, or receiving the wrong signals.
maybe staying away would solve all the problems.
maybe deleting evrythg from my database would make me feel better.
maybe I'M the one making myself miserable,
& not someone else..
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